Heart Encounter Posts

Love You More…

Love you more. A simple phrase yes, but three words my grandma never failed to say. My gram, Faye Tucker, was a simple woman. The only things she needed in... View Article

Disappointments Will Happen

People will let you down. The leader will disappoint you. Even the greatest leaders, your parents. I can think of 3 times I really wanted outcomes to be different in... View Article

How to have connecting conversations with ANYONE, if you follow this simple guide

I can now talk to people that I don't see eye to eye with.

I talk to some people I disagree with, but I still have a wonderful conversation with them. So can you!

  1. 80/20 OTHERS MINDED Method: The conversation should be 20% between you and 80% of them. “Others Minded discussion” is a mindset that changed my leadership in all aspects of my life. It changes everything full circle. Be truly interested in the details of what is happening in the surrounding conversations.
  2. LISTEN MORE THAN YOU TALK: Listen, if your mouth is open you're not learning. It takes effort and energy to affect the core conversation. 
  3. BE PRESENT AT THE MOMENT: Put down whatever is in front of you. Stop, look, listen. I mean, be present with whom ever it is at that moment.
  4. GO WITH THE FLOW: Learn the flow of God’s Spirit. Not every thought needs to be said. Hold your thoughts. Not all thoughts that come into your mind need to be addressed. 
  5. DO NOT GIVE YOUR OPINION: Don’t give your opinion: if they did not ask, don't give a response. Opinions open the door for an argument. Do not push back how they feel. Don’t try to change their mind. -Go write a blog if you want a voice. (WINK WINK)
  6. NO BROKEN RECORDS: Do not to repeat yourself: It's irritating to have to hear detail over and over.  (This drives me CRAZY) 
  7. OPEN-ENDED QUESTIONS: Open-ended questions: what, where, when, why and how.

10 BASIC RULES TO GUIDE ANY CONVERSATION

  • Why is that so meaningful to you?
  • What forced you want to pursue that idea?
  • How did that work out for you?
  • What would you do differently if you knew you would not fail in the future?
  • What’s Your Story?
  • What was going through your mind at the moment?
  • How did that impact your move forward?
  1. STOP FIXING PEOPLE: Maybe they don’t want you to fix it. Whose experience is it? People never have the same experiences. We are individuals and it is not about you. Conversations are not a promotional opportunity for opinion.
  2. ADD VALUE: Talk should not be cheap, add value: If you don't know, say you don't. Stop acting like you do.
  3. STAY OUT OF THE DETAILS: People don't care about a year, the day, all those details. What they care about is you.

This conversational guide all boils down to a basic concept from a parenting book on Amazon GROWING KIDS GOD'S WAY This is a way of life for not only my parenting but my engagement with all those around.

-to be "OTHERS MINDED" in all your conversations-

At the core of every human being, we want to feel like we want to be noticed, known, and listened to. If keep my mouth closed. I listen intentionally.  I'm never disappointed. You do the same thing. Go out and talk to people, listen to them, and be prepared with your mental list. Be brilliant! Respond differently to all the vast conversations.

Prayer

I simply invite you into my conversations with everyone. Oh, especially towards you. I take the time to measure my heart towards myself, my kids, my spouse, my coworkers, and everyone I come in contact with. Let me flow in the promptings of your spirit.

I repent of:

  •  Taking control conversations
  • Giving my opinion when not asked
  • Not being present in conversations
  • Trying to fix everyone I meet
  • Judgement 
  • Wrong perceptive