Forgiveness is a Lifestyle that brings FREEDOM and HOPE to the way you Lead.

As a leader, it is natural to be “others focused”. Often, we slowly grow indifferent to the needs of our own lives.

Looking within to see why we might not be getting the clarity and vision, our leadership position requires us to do something so simple, examine our hearts.  We must determine if our hearts are free with forgiveness or bound with un-forgiveness. Psychologists define forgiveness as a conscious decision to release feelings of resentment or vengeance toward a person or group who has harmed you, regardless of whether they deserve your forgiveness. Forgiveness does not mean forgetting, nor does it mean condoning or excusing offenses.

How often do you check in and see if you are walking in the fullness I call you to walk in? When is the last time Jesus has spoken directly to you?

When you’re working out forgiveness in your heart, you know it is urgent, so important, that it stops and blocks the creative flow and you are hearing clearly from God yourself! Here’s how to do it. I always ask Jesus to bring to my mind: “where in my history has this happened?” After working through forgiveness repeatedly in many areas of my life, I came up with a process to examine areas that I may need to forgive. I call it my little one, two, three, four process.

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1.) VOWS – Did i make a vow or an oath (any judgement against myself and others)?

Have you ever said “I won’t be like that” or “I will never”?  These are just a few examples of vows or oaths that could possibly be holding you back. Those are vows and you’re literally saying “you will not be like that” or “I would never be like” that but you’re taking on the judge’s robe and saying “I could do a better job than GOD”.  So, OUCH, better than JESUS? Really? When I was trudging through forgiveness concerning my life, I always looked to those closest to me, I started with my husband and I made a list. I think it was more like a scroll, when I opened it kept rolling down the mountain. God altogether showed me how judgment was a significant part of who I was, and I did not do it knowingly.

Forgiveness is a Lifestyle– It is been said, “none of us are perfect, and we all fall short” but if we can have revelation we can choose better, know better, and do better! This process  goes from an event to a  “forgiveness as a lifestyle”. I do believe there is a season in our lives where God wants to go back to the foundation of what we believe and do some foundation work on us, so we can be sustainable for the next season that he has for us. A critical place to start is the top layer of your foundation.

Forgiveness Foundation

2.) UNFORGIVENESS – Am I holding any unforgiveness towards:

  • Person/people
  • Places
  • Things

Your inner pain will know the name of the events.

3.) THE COST – Take an account of what it cost you.

I personally had a betrayal within my own family regarding money they thought was theirs. Their reasoning for keeping the money was “this is how your xxxxxx thought of you and why my name is on the checking account”.

Take into account what this cost your life:

  1. Stole money from me
  2. Gossip about our family
  3. Get away with it and no repercussions for their actions
  4. Bankrupt myself worth or whatever might cost you
  5. Heartache
  6. Months of counseling
  7. Not sleeping well
  8. Legal Fees
  9. Stealing Peace of Mind

Identifying WHAT this cost is to you is an important part in your heart. Our religious faith teaches us to forgive whenever someone hurts us. That is the part of forgiveness that is actually never talked about. It is so important and so foundational that you count the cost. It is like having to reconcile the American Express at the end of the month. Every line item has a place and transactions attached to it.  With reconciliation in mind, everything must match up at the end of the month and zero out. We cannot put fake numbers in to make it look convincing. We need to zero out for the account to tell you what’s worthy and what’s a writeoff.

4.) THE CROSS – Turning the cost into the cross.

What you’re doing when you take your issue with a person to the Lord and you say “Father I’ve been on a forgiveness tour to him you take account like this is this was really painful this was really you know this is really awful does this cost me mental form of turmoil or whatever? I don’t know I’m just giving in?

  • Did I hold an account against God?
  • Put a timeline on God?
  • God, if you do not answer this prayer by________ (blank)
  • Angry at God for not answering how we thought it should go?
  • Did I establish judgments even against God?
  • Hold an offense against God unknowingly

Once again we live in a world that puts timelines on people, so it is easy to get caught up in unknowingly putting a time line on God. Our culture makes it really easy to walk in offense/defense towards others?

  • Has there been anywhere that I have grumbled and complained my self/others
  • Have I let a situation go on in my heart way too long?

Forgive Thy-self – God, is there anywhere I need to forgive ME? Really forgiving yourself is so important!  It really changes your spiritual lenses, it is a game-changer. When you learn to forgive yourself it creates a space for liberty and freedom for God to move in your life. I think of the cross knowing there was an exchange on the cross with you and I in mind.

He understands our pain. I look at the painful strips on Jesus’s back, in every situation say: “Jesus, when you were up there on that cross I thought maybe you did not understand a word I was saying, or how I felt… I was so wrong!” they betrayed Jesus, spit on, made fun of, he knew more about pain than probably anybody else I could not imagine. Going on a cross and choosing to die for all humanity. Jesus, he’s truly one of the greatest teachers and one of the greatest examples of how to suffer with others in mind.

Ask yourself, “Is what he did on the cross good enough”? The cross was an exchange for turning in what “it” cost you. I like to imagine handing it over to him (in my scroll). Each time I count the cost and exchange forgiveness, I feel lighter and lighter. Count everything that they held against you, know whatever, whoever. I’m going to turn it all in. When we apply forgiveness, we gain access to Jesus. He wants to remove the barriers and to speak to us.

The enemy, he wants us to stay proud and unable to see beyond what’s holding us back. He knows when we walk in un-forgiveness, pure ugliness in our heart, that alone holds us back from relationships.

The enemy he wants us to live in frustration he wants us to live in a place where we believe no one understands us but God wants us to live from the kingdom side of things. The word says “thy kingdom come thy will be done on Earth as it is in heaven” and he wants to release the kingdom of God into you, so you can take it to everyone in a really powerful, profound way. Let him tell you who you are and speak LIFE to your soul. May you know that you are an amazing woman of God CREATED WITH A TREMENDOUS PURPOSE. You are super creative in all you do! God wants to bring the creative in what YOU DO, in every way. I believe this process is going to unlock you. Unlock your potential, that is inside of you.

I bless you!

I bless your family!

I bless your calling!

I bless your leadership!

Remember, there is no condemnation in admitting the truth and getting rid of it! He’s always so faithful to show us what the correct direction to go.

Just wait and listen for:

  • What we need to change 
  • Transform our thinking
  • Get rid of limited beliefs about events and situations
  • Be self compassionate
  • We are still in the process till eternity
  • We are not perfect by any stretch, but I am a miracle waiting to be happening
Now you able to move forward!!!!!!

FREE Coaching Session

FREE 30-minute intro coaching session to connect with your emotions and begin your heart healing journey.


Forgiveness is a Lifestyle that brings FREEDOM and HOPE to Leadership

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