How to have connecting conversations with ANYONE, if you follow this simple guide
By Tracy Mock
4 minute read
Conversational GUIDE “OTHERS MINDED METHOD”. Get Lasting Results!
I believe everyone comes to a place in life, where they have to reconcile themselves. A couple years ago I found myself shut down, lost, numbed by my problems with food and totally not engaged in the aspects of life I needed to be. Not because I didn’t want to, but because I didn’t know how.
While figuring things out, I was in a creative exercise in which I had to visualize myself in a room. The room appeared to be familiar and appeared well-kept. As I looked to the right, I could see a prison-like door. I looked to the left and could not walk directly out. I could only appreciate the top view up and out with the glimmer of the sunlight coming through a small window. What I was seeing was my own mental prison of no actual connection to others.
If I stayed in this room it would be safe, although I could not fully engage and connect to those around. I suddenly had my moment…I needed out!
When I realized I was living in a place that God and I had never intended, it shifted my future. This opportunity was my chance to break through the prison walls and start life and conversations differently. From that day forward, I have done just that! I have since evaluated each of my relationships with those around me.
- Where have I failed in conversations in the past?
- What part can I own?
- How do I respond differently moving forward?
This guide below has helped me to grow as a person and be more connected in my conversations. My eyes are now open, as I observed others in conversation, I now know why people don’t talk to their parents, or their siblings, get divorced, hang out in bars; all people want is to connect in some fashion. What they want is to have is a VOICE.
If you know me now, you know that I know no stranger. It fills my cup to connect with people no matter where I’m at; to look at my life from a different perspective. It is from a place of freedom and a place of creativity. A place of crafting and framing what an honest conversation looks like, even if I don’t agree.
I have chosen a new philosophy in conversation.
Now speak with family, friends, with my guard down.
Although some people I disagree with, but I still have learned a way to have a wonderful conversation with them. So can you!
- 80/20 OTHERS MINDED Method: The conversation should be 80% them and 20% you. “Others Minded discussion” is a mindset that changed my leadership in all aspects of my life. It changes everything full circle and allows you to be truly interested in the details of what is happening in the surrounding conversations.
- LISTEN MORE THAN YOU TALK: Mind your mouth, if open, you’re not learning. It takes effort and energy to affect the core conversation.
- BE PRESENT AT THE MOMENT: Put down whatever is in front of you. Stop, look, listen. I mean, be present with whomever you are speaking to at that moment.
- GO WITH THE FLOW: Learn the flow of God’s Spirit. Not every thought needs to be said. Hold your thoughts, not all thoughts that come into your mind need to be addressed.
- DO NOT GIVE YOUR OPINION: Don’t give your opinion: if they did not ask, don’t give a response. Opinions open the door for an argument. Do not push back how they feel. Don’t try to change their mind. -Go write a blog if you want a voice. (WINK WINK)
- BROKEN RECORDS: Do not to repeat yourself: It’s irritating to have to hear detail over and over.
- OPEN-ENDED QUESTIONS: Inquire what, where, when, why and how.
OPEN-ENDED QUESTIONS TO GUIDE ANY CONVERSATION
- STOP FIXING PEOPLE: Maybe they don’t want you to fix it. Whose experience is it? People never have the same experiences. We are individuals and it is not about you. Conversations are not a promotional opportunity for opinion.
- ADD VALUE: Talk should not be cheap, add value: If you don’t know, say you don’t. Stop acting like you do.
- STAY OUT OF THE DETAILS: People don’t care about a year, the day, all those details. What they care about is you.
This conversational guide all boils down to a basic concept from a parenting book on the Amazon: GROWING KIDS GOD’S WAY. The Others Minded Method” is an ancient biblical foundation in which they built the original family. Appling this practical guide for “Others’ Minded” ways to acquire positive family connections to achieve breakthrough. Relationships grow from counterfeit chatter and learn to nurture each discussion and master them. Work on one guided habit a week.
-Learn to be “OTHERS MINDED” in all your conversations-
At the core of every human being, we want to feel like we are noticed, known, and listened to. I keep my mouth closed, and I listen intentionally. I’m never disappointed. Go out and talk to people, listen to them, and be prepared with your mental list. Be brilliant! Respond differently to all the vast conversations.
I simply invite you into my conversations with everyone I meet throughout the day. I take the time to measure my heart towards myself, my kids, my spouse, my coworkers, and everyone I come in contact with. Let me flow in the promptings of your spirit.
I repent of:
- Taking control conversations
- Giving my opinion
- Not being present in conversations
- Trying to fix everyone I meet
- Wrong perceptive
I ask for forgiveness in this area. Come, fill me with the Holy Spirt, power, love, mercy, grace in my speech.
Jesus, help me hold on my thoughts and hold them for my time with you. Help me bring value and purpose to whoever I’m talking with. Help me love all those I come in contact with, and meet them right where they’re at.
When I come in to contact with someone I don’t agree with, give me the precise words to appreciate them like you appreciate them.
Teach me and grow me in this area of communication. I want to let others experience the power of being seen and known and heard in all my conversations. Start today in my heart.”
In Jesus’ Name