Love You More…

Gram

Love you more. A simple phrase yes, but three words my grandma never failed to say.

My gram, Faye Tucker, was a simple woman. The only things she needed in life were her family and God, and she was the embodiment of both. I have come across few people in my life with a faith as strong and as true as hers. Her walk with God was never questioned, and it never faltered. Even when tragedy struck our family, her faith remained unfretted. “In The Garden” was her favorite hymn and I have so many memories of standing next to her in that church pew singing the words but not understanding them. As I grew older I started to realize why it was her favorite. She spent her quiet time every morning reading her Bible. She would stop at any moment during the day and pray, or just talk with Him. In the lyrics it says “and the joy we share as we tarry there, none other has ever known”; her true joy in life was her time spent worshiping, in any way that happened. She looked so forward to the day when he would call her home because she knew positively how glorious heaven would be.

Gram was born into hard times and lived through just as many.

She was born in the small town of Trimble, Ohio in 1923. Gram was the second oldest of 7 children born on a farm to a homemaker and a coal miner. She lost her baby twin sisters to whooping cough, which her father passed when she was a senior in high school-leaving her to help her mom care for the home and her siblings. She lived through the Great Depression, but I never once heard her complain about it. As she wrote in a record book of memories she filled out for me, “in our home we had love, and we did not know we were poor”. She lived the rest of her life the same. She and my grandpa didn’t always have much, but you never would’ve known it because her house was always full of admirable love, good food, and good memories.

THIS ROCKED OUR FAMILY TO THE CORE

Her strongest show of faith that I recall was when we lost my cousin to an accidental shooting. It rocked our family to the core. Gram took her time, she took the time she needed to process what had happened & the loss that we had incurred. But instead of spending days, months and years being bitter, angry, hateful…she forgave. She forgave and she went to her faith. She knew that God called him home that day for a reason no matter if we accepted that or not. It also gave her even anticipation for the day that she would be reunited with him in Heaven. We have all been in a position, or two, or ten in our lives where we needed to forgive someone. Looking back she truly left an imprint on me of what that process can look like if you truly turn to your faith instead of letting your sadness and heartache take control of the situation.

It’s the memories I think truly make it painful to this day to deal with her passing. I had her for 34 years and for that I am eternally grateful. Every nook and cranny of my life, my childhood, my growing up, is filled with memories of her. She was a huge part of my upbringing. She helped shape me into who I am today. My mom and dad both worked full time, so my gram’s house was where I spent a significant amount of my time. Back then, there were no video games, cell phones, or screens unless you count the mandatory watching of The Young & the Restless, and the Wheel of Fortune & Jeopardy! Our time was spent actually talking and learning from each other. She had THE best stories from when she was a kid. I would ask her to tell them to me over and over, and she never said no. From swinging on grapevines over a ravine to falling through the barn floor to swallowing a nickel…I will never ever forget those stories. More than that……

I’ll never forget the genuine time she spent with me, investing in me.

God puts people on this Earth to do his work and my grandma took that seriously. She always left people better than she found them. She was a huge fan of writing letters and sending cards. If your name was in a church bulletin or on a prayer chain, consider yourself prayed for. Birthdays, holidays, accomplishments, or a simple thank you…I have cards from all occasions from her and all with a note written inside. She cared; plain and simple, she cared about anyone and everyone. She taught me how to be both sympathetic and empathetic, maybe to a fault, but I’m thankful to her for those qualities.

The truth is I’m thankful to her for so many things.

For the many nights spent lying in bed with the windows open, talking until I fell asleep.

For hundreds of sleep overs that always included my favorite dinner request without question.

For being there for the heartaches and the victories.

For wiping away tears and filling my heart with laughter.

For playing marbles on the floor even when she could barely get back up.

For Christmas Eve family get-together my entire life, even when we had to do it in the community room at the nursing home.

For always answering the phone when I called.

For our visits every Tuesday after work.

For leaving me with a lifetime of memories, traditions, and goodness to pass on to my children.

But most of all, for being my person.

The day she went home to be with the Lord is a day I’ll never forget. What are you supposed to feel when the strongest person you’ve ever known and loved is simply gone? How do you deal with the anger and the hurt? I had to take a step back and remember how many times she’d told me she was ready to go. She knew she had a spot in heaven with her name on it, and she couldn’t wait to see the view. As she declined we all knew it was coming, but that doesn’t make it any easier. God didn’t give us life for it to be easy. He lends us this time on Earth so that we can leave it better than we found it. My grandma did just that.