How to have connecting conversations with ANYONE, if you follow this simple guide
Conversational GUIDE to Lasting Results
I believe everyone comes to a place in life, or they have to reconcile themselves. A couple years ago I found myself shut down, lost, numbed by my problems with food and totally not engaged in the aspects of life I needed to be. Not because I didn’t want to, but because I didn’t know how.
While figuring things out, I was in a creative exercise, in which for a moment I had to visualize myself in a room. The room appeared to be as familiar; it appeared well-kept. As I look to the right, I could see a prison-like door. I look to the left and could not walk directly out, I could only appreciate the top view up and out with the glimmer of the sunlight coming through a small window. What I was seeing was my own mental prison of no actual connection to others.
If I stayed in this room it would be safe, although I could not fully engage and connect to those around. I suddenly had my moment…… I needed out!
When the realization of living in a place that I never God never intended shifted my future. This opportunity was my chance to break through the prison walls, start life and conversations differently. From that day forward, I have done things much differently. I have since evaluated each of my relationships with those around me.
- Where have I failed in conversations in the past?
- What part can I own?
- How do I respond differently moving forward?
This guide below has helped me to grow as a person and be more connected in my conversations. My eyes are now open, as I observed others in conversation, I now know why people don’t talk to their parents, don’t talk to their siblings, get divorced, hang out in bars, all people want is to connect in some fashion. What they want is to have is a VOICE.
If you know me now, you know that I know no stranger. It fills my cup to connect with people no matter where I’m at. Look at my life from a different viewpoint. It is it from a place of freedom oh, a place of creativity. A place of crafting in framing what an honest conversation looks like, even if I don’t agree. Choose a new philosophy in conversation.
I know how to talk to people that I don’t like. Even my capability to converse deeply on a personal level I strongly disagree with. Although, using this guide, I have found I still can have a wonderful conversation with them. So I have 10 basic rules. Appreciate conversations with almost anyone.
| BE PRESENT | NO OPOINION | OPEN ENDED QUESTIONS | GO WITH THE FLOW | STOP CHEEP TALK |
BE PRESENT AT THE MOMENT: Put down whatever is in front of you. Stop, look, listen. I mean, be present with whom ever it is at that moment.
DO NOT GIVE YOUR OPINION: Don’t give your opinion: if they did not ask, don’t give a response. Opinions open the door for an argument. Do not push back how they feel. Don’t try to change their mind. –Go write a blog if you want a voice. (WINK WINK)
ASK OPEN-ENDED QUESTIONS: Open-ended questions: what, where, when, why and how.
Why is that so meaningful to you?
What forced you want to pursue that idea?
How did that work out for you?
What would you do differently if you knew you would not fail in the future?
What’s Your Story?
What was going through your mind at the moment?
How did that impact your move forward?
- GO WITH THE FLOW: Learn the flow of God’s Spirit. Not every thought needs to be said. Hold your thoughts. Not all thoughts that come into your mind need to be addressed.
- STOP CHEAP TALK: Conversations should never have empty words, instead adding value: If you don’t know what to say, don’t. Quit acting like you KNOW everything do.
- STOP FIXING PEOPLE: Maybe they don’t want you to calculate a solution. Whose experience is it? People never have the same experiences. We are individuals and it is not about you. Conversations are not a promotional opportunity for opinion.
- DO NOT REPEAT YOURSELF: Do not to repeat yourself: this is condescending, and it’s irritating to have to hear detail over and over. (This drives me CRAZY)
- STAY OUT OF THE BACK WOODS: People don’t care about a year, the day, all those details. What they care about is you.
- LISTEN MORE THAN YOU TALK: Listen, if your mouth is open you’re not learning. It takes effort and energy to affect the core conversation.
- BE BRIEF: Be interested in other people.
| STOP FIXING PEOPLE | DO NOT REPEAT YOURSELF | STAY OUT OF THE BACK WOODS | LISTEN MORE THAN YOU TALK: | BE BRIEF |
This conversational guide all boils down to the same basic concept, and it is this one:
-to be interested in other people-
At the core of every human being, we want to feel like we want to be noticed, known, and listened to. If keep my mouth closed. I listen intentionally. I’m never disappointed. You do the same thing. Go out and talk to people, listen to them, and be prepared with your mental list. Be brilliant! Respond differently to all the vast conversations.
Prayer:
I simply invite you into my conversations with everyone. Oh, especially towards you. I take the time to measure my heart towards myself, my kids, my spouse, my coworkers, and everyone I come in contact with. Let me flow in the promptings of your spirit.
I repent of:
- Taking control conversations
- Not giving an opinion unless asked for
- Not being present in conversations
- Trying to fix everyone I meet
- Judgement
- Wrong perceptive
I ask for forgiveness in this area. Come, fill me with Holy Spirt, power, love, mercy, grace in my speech.
Jesus, help me hold on my thoughts and hold them for my time with you. Help me bring value and purpose to whoever I’m talking with. Help me love all those I come in contact with, and meet right where they’re at. Especially when with someone I don’t agree with. Help me have the precise words to view them like you do. Help me to appreciate them in the way I have not seen them in the past.
Teach me and grow me in this area of communication I want to let others experience the power of being seen and known and heard in all my conversations. Start today in my heart.”
In Jesus’ Name
Tracy Mock
Heart Encounter Coach
Leadership Development Coaching
Empowering Woman From the Inside Out
Blogger/ Vlogger
